On The Edge 3 (1987) | Magazine
What's in a Name
by Ed Douglas
Route names: not one of climbing's more controversial subjects, you might think, but in recent months there has been an increase in opposition to some of the more nauseating habits of first ascentionists culminating in last month's Climber with a letter from an outraged David Craig condemning the choice of the name Condome for a new route on Diabaig put up by Dave Cuthbertson. Now I don't wish to enter into the politics of the thing (let's play 'wind up the SMC') but I'm increasingly worried by the extraordinarily narrow vision of people who should know better. Route naming has almost always been a vibrant and creative area and is another illustration of how climbing retains its individuality and ability for self-expression. Most of the time people limit themselves to Bob Dylan tracks and references to the physically and mentally demanding nature of the climb they've just done, for example Mark Pretty's Beef it! (subtle, eh?). Occasionally there comes along a real corker. Who can forget Paul Mitchell's The Snail and the Goat Meet Mr. Dali and His Amazing Performing Flapjacks, or what about Pete Oxley's neo-classic Rambling Moses Weetabix and the Secona Park Seven. For the more romantically minded there is Pearce and Drummond's A Dream of White Horses or Dawes' imagistic Braille Trail.
Now, I know how to say the word 'shit'. I know what it means. But I don't envisage using it in the very unlikely event of me doing a new route. However I wholeheartedly support the right of everyone to do so if they wish. I happen to think it's fairly childish and pathetic and unnecessary to do so, but if that's the bag people are into, so be it. I wouldn't want to limit their freedom to do as they wish with respect to their climbing as long as it doesn't impinge on the freedom of others, anymore than I wish my own liberty to be curtailed.
The problem is, of course, what do you do about guide books? At present we have this ludicrous, high-brow Victorian attitude which changes, in the Llanberis Guide, 1000 Tons of Chicken Shit to the nonsensical 1000 Tons of Chicken and leaves included the revolting Cystitis by Proxy. Wholesale censoring of 'naughty' is a little pointless when names like Raped by Affection or Menstrual Gossip remain. Personally, I would leave all route names as they are since they serve not only as an illustartion of the ingenuity of climbers but also as a condemnation of their occasional lapses as well. And I hardly think that not printing such language will return society to the high(!) principles of a former age - 'young people' have plenty of access to far more corrupting influences, like the tabloid press, or videos, or T.V., long before they get to climbing.
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