Brassington Rocks (1950) | Guidebook

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"SNUFFER”

For tip-top enjoyment
And healthful employment
Of any impetuous duffer,
I back every time that
Ingenious climb that
The Brassington addicts call Snuffer.

You start full of vigour,
Prepared for the rigour Of everything climbing has taught you,
And in less than a minute
You’re properly “ in it ”
With only your knees to support you.

Your breeches are splitting—
You seem to be sitting
On nothing, or something that’s like it,
But a far-distant handhold
That looks like a grand hold
Is yours—if you only can strike it!

The hold’s not just distant.
It's quite non-existent—
You grope with an urgency frantic,
While you wriggle and heave
And you cannot conceive
How you ever thought climbing romantic.

It can’t last much longer—
You aren’t getting stronger—
You're paralysed, palsied, and puffed;
You're all of a dither—
Both knees start to slither—
You’re going—
You’re going—
You’re SNUFFED!

By C. L. Inker